I WALK WITH TITANS

I WALK WITH TITANS
By: Gwendolyn A.Cuizon

I pursued Bachelor of Science Major in Accounting inthe University of San-Jose Recoletos. It never occurred to me that one day my job description would not be accountant but Published Book Author –International.

When I was in college, my family could barely make ends meet. I pursued accounting at USJ-R because it was the most practical choice. When I graduated, I worked for several accounting-related jobs. The desire to write never left me though. It was like an itch,the more I scratched, the more intense it became.

My accounting background did not prepare me for what laid ahead. When I first made the rough draft of my manuscript “Change of Plans, Change of Hearts”, I had no idea what I had gotten myself into. I wrote at home everyday after office hours. Days turned to weeks, weeks to months and months to years with no end in sight. I submitted the first three chapters of my manuscript to publishers worldwide but it got rejected 100% of the time. After a year of toiling and foregoing the night life in favor of writing, I began to entertain serious doubts on my calling. Where would this lead me? Would I ever getpublished?

In rare cases though, when your heart is in perfect accord with your mind - giving up is not an option. This was the case for me. So I wrote every night and submitted my manuscript to more than a hundred publishers worldwide for the next four years. It was rejected the entire time. After five years of ceaseless toils, I know it was time to give up. There was no point in continuing something I thought would never bear fruit.

Feeling dejected, disappointed, disillusioned, I decided to stop submitting my manuscript for a year. I exhausted every possible means to solve the problem -all to no avail. There was nothing left for me to do.

Nothing.

Then it occurred to me there was one option I had not fully explored. And that was - To pray. To lift things up to God. I realized that the solution I searched for could possibly be in the spiritual and not in the physical realm.

Human efforts alone obviously do not suffice to conquer the obstacles I faced. I need help beyond human strength. I NEED God.

Armed with an invigorated sense of hope, I stopped submitting my manuscript to publishers and started an entirely new approach - I prayed. I attended Virgen de Regla novena, completed the Misa de Gallo, followed the Sto. Nino procession, petitioned in Simala, I attended daily dawn masses at Mount Carmel Chapel, frequented Poor Claires, prayed the holy rosary every night, sponsored prayer gatherings or ‘barangayan’ in my house and attended Sunday masses for a year. The lists of my religious activities went on.

Few days after Sto. Nino fiesta and after I stopped submitting the manuscript for one year, I finally mustered enough courage to submit my manuscript again– for the last time. If my manuscript got rejected, it would be my cue that I was never meant to write in the first place.

I knew that everything I worked for, for the last six years of my life, was at stake here. I prepared for the worst. January 22, 2004, after praying, I randomly selected a publisher from the internet. The name TreeSide Press from British Columbia, Canada cropped up. I forwarded my manuscript that day.

That was it! My fate was sealed. The rest was up to God. I forced myself not to think about it.

A week passed,I received an email from TreeSide. With dread and trepidation, I opened the email from the publisher. Iwas almost sure that the manuscript was rejected again.

But …… NOT this time.

As I read the contents of the email, tears swelled in my eyes. The manuscript I submitted “Change of Plans,Change of Hearts” was FINALLY accepted! I got the answer I needed. I was meant to write after all.

After SIX long years of struggles, after more than a hundred rejection slips and all the disappointments and failures I went through, I made it! I clinched a publishing deal!

The trials did not end there though. After 2 months of signing the contract, TreeSide had to close because the publisher got ill. Somehow, the confidence I got from the publishing deal was enough to carry me throughout the ordeal. I submitted my manuscript next to an award-winning Canadian publishing firm from Ontario, Double Dragon Publishing Inc.

July 2004, I signed another publishing contract this time with Double Dragon. November 30, 2006, the book “Change of Plans, Change of Hearts” came to exist.

When I look at my book now, I just don’t see a book. To me, it serves as the physical embodiment of the triumph of the spirit over insurmountable odds. My journey for the last eight years is summed up in this one incredible paperback. All kinds of odds were against me - for every 10,000 writers submitting their manuscript only 1 gets published, I am not a native English speaker, my orientation was accounting not writing, and so many other impossiblities. Yet, with God's help, I managed to surmount them all.

It may appear that I have influenced all the details written in my book “Change of Plans, Change of Hearts” but in truth it is the book that inflicts so much influence on me, especially on the spiritual aspect. In hindsight, I realized that the book paved the way for my greatest achievement of all - a closer relationship with God.

I grew up reading classic authors such as Hans Christian Andersen, Mark Twain, Shakespeare, Emerson, Victor Hugo and contemporary authors - the likes of Sidney Sheldon, Daniel Steele, John Grisham, Stephen King and so many others. Undoubtedly, these are the titans in the literary world.

Despite the years that gulfed among us, I feel strangely connected to them in spirit. I could empathize with them perfectly, having gone through the same ordeals myself. I may not have achieved stellar success yet but to some extent I am one of them now.

I’m glad to say, I have earned my right to walk with the titans. I found my niche among them.

Addendum: "Change of Plans, Change of Hearts" is currently the No.1 Bestseller in
Paperback Edition in my publishing firm- Double Dragon Publishing.

The Languages of Love

I read this very interesting article about loving a person.

It says that there are five languages of love or simply the ways of showing you love a person. And the object of your affection responds to the language that appeals to him or her the most. They believe that you love them once they see you do one or a couple of these things.

What are these five ways?

1. giving gifts
2. spending time
3. service
4. physical touch
5. communication

Giving gifts - some people appreciate receiving gifts. Now don't get me wrong, I'm not implying that your loved ones are materialistic but it simply means that for them the language of love is in giving or receiving for that matter. If they see you making the effort to give them something, they love you all the more for that because to them giving equals loving. See what I mean? So if you give, it is a sign that you love them. It is the language of love that they understand the most. It doesn't matter if you give them a rare pink diamond or a common single rose. The value of what you give doesn't count here but the act of giving itself. Giving in the long run is not merely an act but a way of imparting our selves to others. So give and you will be blessed with love abundantly!

Spending time - some of our loved ones respond most or appreciate you more if you spend time with them. They believe that they are precious because you find the time to be with them. It is not necessarily the quantity of time but quality time. There is a huge difference between the two. You may spend 24/7 with that person and they still don't feel loved. Quality time is spending time with the loved ones, even just a few minutes a day, affirming your love to them by words or actions or even sharing comfortable silence. Indeed, silence could speak volumes. Show your love make them feel loved every time you spend with them and they will love you all the more for it.

Service - I am not referring to the over-the-top, grand kind of service. Service is simply helping a loved one. It could be carrying the luggages for her or him. The shopping bags. Running errands. Picking up the laundry on the way home. Opening the door. Making a cup of coffee. Anything, even the simplest things that make life a bit comfortable for him or her. Some people appreciate these more than diamonds or other expensive things. So don't forget service as a way of expressing love.

Physical touch - your loved one could be the kind who loves holding hands, kissing, touching the arm, hugging, etc., etc. The etcs. mean I am giving you room to be creative. Let's face it touch is one of the most important love language. It is probably the most basic too. Who doesn't want to be hugged or kissed or hold hands with? But some people want it more or at a higher degree than others. So if your loved one prefers physical touch as an expression of love, it doesnt hurt to hug or kiss her/him every now and then.

Communication - they say communication is the lifeblood of every relationship. It's true. It can create havoc or bliss on your relationships. Some loved ones prefer communication as a way of demonstrating your love to them. They love to hear ' i love you' or be told that they are beautiful or that you love them just the way they are. Just a few words from you could feed their hunger for love. So, communicate LOVE. Say it. Don't let the person guessing. They might not respond to actions or gifts. But simple ' i love you' could do the trick!

There you go. The five secrets of loving and expressing love. Hope the object of your affection will finally understand what you've been saying all along and respond accordingly. It doesn't hurt to try them. Go on and spread love!

Young Good Man Brown by Nathaniel Hawthorne

Through the covenant Goodman has made with the Devil, he has agreed to leave his wife, Faith, and walk through the forest with the Devil for one night as the Devil attempts to convert Goodman from Christianity. Goodman enters into this with great resolve that his survival and test of faith will not change, but the depth of his faith is fairly easily uprooted. As Goodman and the Devil are walking, Goodman comes upon his old catechism teacher, Goody Cloyse, who is headed to the Devil’s meeting that Goodman is being led to. Goodman is stunned at the sight of her, as he had considered her his moral and spiritual guide. This is the beginning of where Goodman’s faith fails. As Goodman continues on, he sees many of the townspeople he had respected and admired so much for their devout faith in God. Goodman’s faith begins to crumble because his Achilles heel was the pride he had in believing he was a pious man. His faith was never based on an internal relationship with God; instead, his faith was mirrored and reflected by the community he revered. As those around him showed their true following, Goodman lost all faith, and became empty.

Young Goodman Brown went to the forest to search for his inner self or the soul. The devil accompanies him. He is too arrogant to believe that his faith will be able to support him in times of temptations. But his faith is based on the people surrounding him. One by one he sees their secret faults and their secret alliance with the devil. Slowly his faith deserts him. As his will little by little go away, in a sense he is overcome by the devil. This, despite his pride and faith in his capability to withstand temptations.

Brown comes to the ceremony and sees the devil worshippers. He sees a number of people whom he thought to be pious and God-fearing in the congregation. He recognizes them. He does not see Faith though and it brings some hope in his heart.

This part is a turning point for Goodman Brown because he hopes not to live alone in the community of unbelievers. With Faith by his side, he could surmount this obstacle. Although what Goodman Brown fails to realize is that he is already a part of this community he doesn’t like. If Faith was not there, then he need not be alone in his faith. Hope can be looked at as a part of what is known as the "the Christian triptych". The Christian triptych is made up of faith, hope and love. The third part of the triptych which is absent in the entire story is love. If Brown only had "love" in his heart, then he would have found a way to tackle his problem. Love is the medicine that would have enable him to survive without deep sadness due to what he knows when he returned to Salem.

The ceremony started and the converts are brought forward. Goodman Brown steps forward with them. Goodman Brown seems to have no will of his own as he joins the service of converts. The leader said that the members of the congregation are believed to be righteous, honest and incorruptible. Yet they commit secret evil deeds. Goodman Brown finds himself facing Faith. Then the leader said that evil is man’s natural state. He welcomes the convert. Then dips his hand in the rock and draw liquid and put it on the convert’s forehead to baptize them. Brown is able to come back to his senses just in time and shouts "Faith! Faith! Look up to Heaven and resist the wicked one!" The ceremony ends and sees that he is alone. So he presumes that his wife joined the community of non-believers. This means he is the only one left in his faith.

He did not actually convert to a non-believer as others had done. But still, he chooses an equally dangerous path. By losing his faith in everything even in his loved ones, Goodman merely exists and not lives. He believes that faith has failed him and he turns his anger to the world. He sees everything as evil and not worthy of his trust even his new bride (BigNerds, Screen 7).

What happened in his journey changed his outlook for the worst. It made him bitter. Goodman would rather be alone than lifting to God his burdens. Also, he chose to judge people instead of love them faults and all. The Bible tells us that it isn’t enough to have faith to be able to live life. Hope and love are necessary ingredient in a fulfilled, happy life. Goodman Brown lives on faith alone. And his lack of faith quashed what little hope he has. His biggest loss is his inability to love. Because he distances himself from others and judge them, he fails to see them as individuals worthy of his love. Love the sinner, hate their sins. That is the core of Christian religion. And because Goodman Brown fails to grasp the importance of love above all, he fails to live meaningfully. He ends up a failure. He dies lonely and alone. Goodman Brown was buried with "no hopeful verse upon his tombstone; for his dying hour was gloom." (Netfirms, Screen2)

The Lady with the Dog By Anton Chekhov

Introduction

Dmitri Dmitritch Gurov’s roving eye finds himself another conquest in the person of Anna Sergeyevna. He is married but often unfaithful to his wife. Anna, on the other hand, is married to a good and honest man but a ‘flunkey’. She owns a Pomeranian dog which earns her the moniker ‘lady with the dog’.

At the start of the story we could find Gurov relentlessly pursuing Anna. Since both are lonely and alone in Yalta, temptation seems to be a natural consequence. They become lovers. Their tryst is cut short when Anna needs to go home. They bid each other farewell. And Gurov goes home to Moscow.

Unfortunately, though Gurov and Anna parted, the memories linger on. Unable to curtail his feelings, Gurov searches for Anna in Petersburg. They meet again. They agreed that Anna should visit Moscow so they can continue their clandestine affair. In the end, they decide to formulate a plan so they can be together for always. They are aware though that "the most complicated and difficult" part in their plan is just beginning.

“Lady with the Dog” is a haunting tale of star-crossed lovers whose love is doomed from the very start. Gurov and Anna become enmesh with the dilemma because their marriages make them unhappy. They found solace and true love in each other’s arms. Consequently, they indulge in adultery to vent their feelings.

Commentary

While Gurov and Anna do indeed suffer from hellish marriages, their decision to commit adultery must be condemned because society’s acceptance of adultery will take us down a perilous path of deceit, moral degradation and decadence.

Every society adheres to the long-held view that marriage is and always will be a sacred institution. To go against this view - to commit adultery - is to suffer condemnation even to the point of alienation. Gurov and Anna know this. That is why at the end of the story they brace themselves for any eventuality.

The story ‘Lady with the Dog’ offers a glimpse of what adulterous couples go through. On the other side of the coin, the bigger question is what do the greater majority (the families) go through? Granted that what the couple feel for each other is true love, still that doesn’t give them the license to betray other people’s trust or deceive people.

Adultery is not a private sin that is confined within the walls of the home. It affects the emotions of people and the way they relate to society. Often, affected family members react in a negative way. Moral degradation becomes apparent in their conduct. As a consequence they become problems of the society. Illicit affairs often lead to disastrous end too. Because of the adulterous couple’s decadent ways, it is not surprising to read reports about crimes of passion in the papers. Adultery definitely affects society unfavorably.

If society tolerates adultery then it gives out a strong signal that it is okay to commit it. This, of course, will lead to further moral degradation. Children of those adulterous couples will possibly have no qualms following the example set by their parents. Deceit is a foregone conclusion since the illicit affair needs to be kept a secret at all cost.

Adultery also leads to decadence since it becomes a paramount concern that drowns all others. Eventually it destroys relationships and lives. Adultery is akin to taking poison in small doses – it sips out the life out of the person little by little. It doesn’t kill instantly but it kills eventually. It may not be death in physical sense. But it could possibly be far worse - moral, mental and emotional deterioration of a person.

Marriage is a mutual decision of two persons to commit themselves to each other for life. Love is the very foundation of marriage. But as time passes, love sometimes goes stale. Some couples want to recapture the magic of first love. If they cannot, they turn to other people to find what they need. But marriage is not based on feelings. Feelings come. Feelings go. Emotions can sometimes be misleading. It is the decision to stay together that remains, just as it is the decision to commit adultery that makes it easy. Everything starts and ends with the decision. Will over emotions. Mind over matter.

Conclusion

It is important for society to make a strong stand against adultery before it destroys the very moral fiber which holds the community together. Upholding what is right and virtuous often leads to peace and harmony. Adultery, even if it’s true love, is simply unacceptable. A problem cannot be solved by creating another problem. If all else fails, there is always a legal recourse open to the parties involve. All they need is to come up with a decision and be ready for the consequences.

Something Lost

When I was ten my grandma gave me a pair of small, round diamond earrings. The diamond earrings were set perfectly on top of a heart-shaped gold. There was a clip behind it that secured the earrings tightly to my ears.

It was beautiful. It was unique. Nobody else had a set of earrings like that. Others looked so simple. Mine was elegant. I was the envy of my girl playmates. It was a symbol of girlhood pride. And I basked under its glory. I was like an enamored suitor so attached to my object of affection.

Then one day, after I played outside our house. When I went home I was devastated to find out that one of my most-cherished earrings was gone! I went out again to search for it. Certainly, I must have dropped it somewhere. So I searched every nook and corner. I even enlisted some of my friends to join in the search. Again and again, I went back to the spot where I played to look for the missing earring. All to no avail.

The next day I did the same thing. I searched the place thoroughly. Still, the earrings eluded me. All my hopes in finding it had been dashed. The next few days passed like a nightmare. I was cried most of the time. When I looked at my one earring, I would inevitably be reminded of the one I lost. My ears felt naked without it. I felt I had it for so long, it had become a part of me. It made me feel special. Without it, I felt incomplete. I felt undistinguished. In a way I lost more than an earring. I lost my self-esteem. I had identified myself closely to it that it was hard to be whole again without it.
As the days dragged on and the earrings still out of plain sight, I became frustrated. I was practically inconsolable. I was in no mood to play. Everybody was affected by my mood swings. Yet they were as helpless as me.

Probably part of the frustration I felt was due to the realization that I was helpless. I never felt helpless before. It was the saddest feeling I knew. The attachment I felt towards the earrings made me felt powerless to control things. I also find it hard to let go of my loss. When you lost something you were so attached with you hold on to your loss as long as possible; because you knew that it would somehow bring you closer to the one you love. The pain served as a constant reminder of people or things you lost. If you let go of mourning, you let go of them. I was not prepared to do that just yet.

I refrained from going to the place where I lost my earrings. It became a dreaded place for me. It served as a painful reminder for my loss. For days, I stayed inside the house. I played all by myself with my dolls. I dared not venture outside. I watched my other earring like a hawk. I kept it hidden in a safe corner that I knew. I was fiercely protective of my earring.

I was no longer hysterical. I followed a comfortable pattern by staying at home. My parents though were concerned. They believed it was abnormal for a child to stay at home most of the time. They encouraged me to go out and play.

Later, when days turned to weeks, there was a subtle change in me. I realized I could not go on feeling bad everyday for my loss. I had to learn to cope or I would never be out of the pit I dug myself in.

I began to accept my loss. My chagrin turned to acceptance. It was partly because time had healed the wounds. Acceptance was the key that helped me move on and get over my loss. I was able to face the situation squarely and knew I had done my best. There was nothing left to do.

I took the one earring left and I looked at it one last time. Then I put it inside my drawer vowing never to touch it again. Somehow the act liberated me. I realized that losing the earring had helped me in a way. I was so attached to it that my confidence stemmed from it. When I lost it, I realized, I can be confident on my own. Not in something I owned, but in my abilities, in my positive qualities. I knew I could contribute something positive to the people around me even without my earrings. The earrings only served to heighten the beauty that was already there. In short, it was not the source of beauty after all. It was my character, not a piece of gem, which allowed me to shine.

I made peace with myself and with my loss. Finally, I was able to put aside the unfortunate incident and moved on.